Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da…

I don’t often talk about personal issues here at the blog, but I feel compelled to share a little information about why it has been relatively quiet here for so long. Almost a year ago now, my wife and I separated. That separation will be finalized this year. I don’t want to go into too much detail, though I will say that the cause wasn’t anything heavy like substance abuse, infidelity or anything like that. It essentially came down to us being two very different people who seemed to be on different paths in life. I will say that the thing that probably hurt me most was the breakup of our family, which I thought was very unfair to the Woodsboy and his emotional future, especially since we had always had such a happy and healthy home life. However, when two people don’t share the same general set of moral and ethical values about what is most important in life, eventually there will be problems. Our separation and divorce were very surprising to many people, including our relatives, co-workers etc., many of whom didn’t understand it (and I have to admit I still don’t understand it 100%).

In the grand scheme of things, though, this doesn’t matter. The fact is that life is going to give you what it gives you, whether you want it or not. There will be injuries. There will be job losses. There will be separations. These things are absolutely inevitable. The only thing we have control over is how we respond to the things that happen to us. You can either get angry and upset, which makes things worse, or you can turn the other cheek and transform it into something positive. You could say life had given me a truck-load of lemons last year. Fortunately for me, I like lemonade. πŸ™‚

So life does, and has been, going on. I took a break from bushcraft, camping etc. for a while, instead focusing on my growth and development as a person, spending lots of fantastic quality time with the Woodsboy, forging new friendships and working on projects at the homestead. Speaking of the homestead, the contractor I hired to restore the cabin says the work should be complete by the end of May. This will be a significant development, not only for me, but for the blog as well. Once the structural restoration is complete and I have set up the interior (and get electricity, a water pump etc.), I will actually be able to live and work there for up to a week at a time thanks to the mobile nature of my job. This means instant access to the woods and the ability to work on homestead/gardening/cabin projects anytime I’m there, something that I have never had since starting this blog!

So thank you for being patient! You can expect the frequency of posts to pick up here over the next few weeks and months (starting with a trip report on an overnighter I took late last month). I will finish this post with advice to any of you who may be going through hard times right now: Stand firm. Be resolute. No obstruction, no hindrance, no injury or setback is so severe that you cannot get past it with God’s help. Life may not be the same afterwards, but you will be stronger for having gone through it. Time does heal all wounds, especially when you help it along by having a positive mindset.

41 comments on “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da…

  1. richie8923 says:

    Sorry to hear about the news. Hope things settle again. IΒ΄ve been following your blog for a while now and was wondering if there was any official bushcraft community here in Finland with meet ups, activities e.t.c.? I live in Helsinki but often venture out into the wids for over-nighters and it would be nice to meet some like minded individuals.

    • Thanks for the comment, Richie! Well, I don’t know about an “official” bushcraft community, but the main (and only) one I know of is the Bushcraft Finland forum (http://www.bcfin.org/forum/). Lots of real-world experience there. They do have meetups etc. Let me know if you venture to Eastern Finland, and perhaps we could meet up. πŸ™‚

    • Finnman says:

      If you are interested bushcraft stuff, hikes etc. In capital area You can write me: kmakinen AT gmail.com. I live in Vantaa.

  2. richie8923 says:

    Incidentally, IΒ΄m a carpenter. Just finished a recent log ( cantered and round) building course should you or any of your subscribers need assistance or advice in traditional cabin building techniques. All the best.

  3. I am sorry to hear of the events of your last year. I will be praying for you, the woodsboy, and your wife. I am looking forward to your future posts. God bless.

  4. wgiles says:

    I’m sorry to hear you confirm what I had suspected. I hope that you remain friends with your wife’s family and that your life continues on this positive path.

  5. Marm:):) says:

    BEAUTIFUL……your spirit shines through. God Bless you and Woodsboy! Can’t wait to experience the homestead! Love you very much!!

  6. Very sorry to hear that news, but it’s great that you’re making the best of it. We can’t always control what happens in our lives, but we can control how it affects us…and there’s great power in that.

  7. TheFloridaSteampunker says:

    That’s a bummer. I recently have been playing catch-up on your blog postings after a lengthy absence. Glad to see you’re still out there doing fun stuff and the cabin looks great.

  8. Finnman says:

    My condolences about what happened, but you have great attitude to beat all that and remember you have friends to support you here. Give a call or visit anytime. I will come to see your homestead this summer for sure!

    • Thanks for the kind words, Finnman! The Woodsboy and I will definitely take you up on the offer of visiting, and I really do hope you and your family come up here and visit this summer as well!

  9. OakAshandThorn says:

    Sorry to here about the separation. Family breakups are never good, especially for children to go through. I’ll open up a bit myself…my own immediate family is starting to crumble due to a relationship my brother has. Without going into too much detail, he has cornered himself between an endless ocean and a wall of fire because of his rash actions, and these actions have in turn affected the family because, for the moment, we all share the same house. Legal threats were made, though thankfully things have been resolved, and we are all hoping to move on. I will be starting my career hopefully at the year’s end, but I do worry for my brother, because the person he is with has caused so much destruction, not just to us, but to other families as well. I think it’s a matter concerning a personality disorder, and I fear that if it comes to divorce, my brother will have nothing to fall back on. I’ve tried my best to warn him, though it has fallen on deaf ears.

    Doom and gloom aside, I am gladdened to hear of your cabin progress :).
    Carry a torch, and you will see through the night. πŸ˜‰

    • Thank you very much for sharing your story! I am sorry to hear about the situation your brother has gotten you all into and the path his is on. Make sure that you, and your other family members, let your brother know how much you love him. Spend as much time with him as you can. Become the safety net for him to the greatest degree possible. Many people will not listen to advice and just have to make their own mistakes. That’s part of the learning and growing process. Sometimes the consequences can be severe. That’s why the good people who love your brother need to be there for him. See if you can get him involved in positive and constructive hobbies, activities etc. Try to surround him with positivity. Let him know how valuable and important he is. This might help him to get clarity about things in his life. Who knows, it could even spread to his partner as well and help her, despite the personality disorder. Always try to do the right thing and do the best that you can. When other people see this, it encourages them to do the same!

      I wish you all the best with starting your career later this year and also hope that the situation with your brother improves!

      • OakAshandThorn says:

        Thanks for the advice :). Still, it is his life to live, and all I can really do is comfort him when things go belly up.

        I’ll need all the luck I can get, the career is with the National Park Service…I’ll be starting out as a SCA (Student Conservation Associate) :D.

        • Of course, everyone has to make their own decisions. I know what it’s like to have a family member not listen to the wise words of many people who care about them. You’re doing your part by being there for your brother. That’s all you can do.

          Hey, great to hear that you’ll be getting an outdoorsy job! Can’t beat that! πŸ™‚

  10. Clancy J says:

    I am so sorry to read this. I love hearing about the WoodsBoy as I have a 9 yr old boy who could probably hold his own with yours! Be good to both of yourselves.

    • You can look forward to plenty of posts with the Woodsboy here in the future. He LOVES being at the homestead (he even asked if we can move there when the cabin is ready!).

      BTW, the Woodsboy just turned 6, so I’m sure your 9-year-old could hold his own with him. πŸ˜‰ Thanks for the comments!

  11. Charlie says:

    thanks for the update, glad you are doing well, and standing strong. With God all things are possible, will keep you in my prayers too. He is Risen!!

  12. Hej buddy, great to see you resurface again.
    Your tone is a good one. Sounds like you are recovering pretty well.

    I have to say that I too am focusing on homesteading more and more and since we got the dog my woodstime is guaranteed on a daily basis. πŸ™‚

    • Hej Roni, thanks for the comments. πŸ™‚ I hope to be more active here, as well as at other blogs (which I pretty much stopped visiting during the past year). I’m looking forward to catching up with what’s been going on with you at your blog!

      Being positive has worked wonders for me, so it’s the only way to go. πŸ™‚

  13. Ken Speed says:

    I’m sure the breakup has been tough on all of you but when people grow apart I think it’s better to end a marriage than punish each other. It sounds like you’re facing up to things which is important. Hang in there and things will get better in time.

  14. Good to see you back “here” again. All the best and take care!

  15. matthew skeen says:

    Hey,Β it’s Matt. Saddened to read this post. Coming stateside anytime soon? Prayers are with you buddy. Matt Skeen.

  16. Christine Adams says:

    Sorry to read of your family breakup. It is a difficult thing to go through especially to see what the children go through. Maintaining your positive attitude is good along with a strong faith will help you get through. I wish you all the best.

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